Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    MdngtRain's Avatar
    MdngtRain is offline Junior member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    248
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default people confuse me...


    LOG IN TO CLOSE THIS AD   


    why is it that people come to a forum, ask for help, then flip a s**t when someone tells them they are doing something wrong? I mean, you asked in the first place. If you think they are wrong in their assessment, why wouldn't you ask for clarification and explanation instead of just dismissing them (especially when the person has way more experience than you, as you clearly have stated you are new to the hobby). I know not all things can only be done in one way, and that individual animals may adapt better to certain situations, but you came here to ask for help... or was it just to get a pat on the back and a "good job"...

  2. #2
    Riverside Reptiles's Avatar
    Riverside Reptiles is offline Geckos Unlimited Admin
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    8,383
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    It's the nature of the beast of message forums. Back in the days before internet when you had to actually interact face to face with real people at herp club meetings, etc, people didn't act that way. They were grateful for any advice that they could get. The internet made information *too* easy to get in some instances and has turned everyone into a self professed expert.
    Ethan
    ~Riverside Reptiles~
    Riverside Reptiles Online

    Riverside Reptiles on Facebook

    To ALL GU members, please take the time to look through old threads and/or use the search feature BEFORE asking questions. GU is a huge archive of information and most of the info that you're looking for is already there just waiting for you to find it.
    GU's search feature ----> Geckos Unlimited - Search Forums

    GU's Rules: http://www.geckosunlimited.com/commu...les-rules.html

    Likes MdngtRain, Aimless liked this post

  3. #3
    MdngtRain's Avatar
    MdngtRain is offline Junior member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    248
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I guess I just get frustrated when people simply expect accolades when they are clearly doing something that is counter-indicated in so many published and respected articles... I'm all for improving captive care, but at least go through the reasons you think it it is better, and how you see it benefiting your animal, not simply stating that you don't see anything wrong (especially if this is the person's first time dealing with that particular species. How do you even really know what to look for as "normal" vs "abnormal"??). I am a staunch believer in "bigger is better" and will provide the most room I can for my animals. When I present this idea, I will also include the arguments that may be against this premise, and ways to counter-act the concerns (ie: more feeding stations for smaller geckos in large terrariums). I still never say that it is the only way to do things, or get overly defensive and rude when someone questions my methods... but then again, I guess I was raised differently, and have a more logical, scientific side to me that is present in every day interactions...

    I think the lack of face-to-face contact has made people quite rude. It's so easy to be disrespectful and not think about what you are saying (tho that irks me too, as you have to take time to type it out before you hit the send button) before you post something... I know I have been guilty of some rants myself, but to do it so regularly is just shameful...

    ok, getting off my soapbox now...
    Thanks billewicz thanked for this post

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    982
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    There's nothing more frustrating than telling someone that they are unwillingly (or on occasion, willingly) neglecting and mistreating their animal for them to just came back with, "No, it's fine." No, it's not fine.

    Then there are the people who ask questions, but then when someone gives well-reasoned answers supported by good evidence, they argue and get snippy and toss the advice aside. What's the point of asking then? If you're not going to listen to any advice given, just don't bother. Your reptile will suffer for it, but who cares, right?

    And people wonder why I'm a misanthrope.

    ~Maggot
    Thanks billewicz thanked for this post
    Likes pistachio-leo., MdngtRain liked this post

  5. #5
    Aimless's Avatar
    Aimless is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,387
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    well, it's a fine line. there are many ways to do things. if your animals are healthy and happy, then you're doing it "the right way" and discussion of husbandry is great, but you shouldn't be condemned for your methods if they work well. (can you tell I'm sometimes a non-traditionalist in my keeping?)

    of course, with the majority of advice-ignorers they either have animals that are in distress, or will be in distress given more time in the same situation. that is sad and frustrating. these are often the people who, when their animal dies, will "just go get another one". my reptiles aren't my dogs, OK, but they're still not disposable like that.
    Morelia spilota harrisoni * Liasis fuscus * Liasis mackloti * Liasis mackloti savuensis * Anteresia maculosa * Python regius * Gekko gecko * Rhacodactylus leachianus * Correlophus ciliatus * Blaesodactylus boivini
    Likes MdngtRain liked this post

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    982
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Aimless View Post
    well, it's a fine line. there are many ways to do things. if your animals are healthy and happy, then you're doing it "the right way" and discussion of husbandry is great, but you shouldn't be condemned for your methods if they work well. (can you tell I'm sometimes a non-traditionalist in my keeping?)
    That's a good point. There are many different ways to do things (especially when it comes to substrate, lighting, heating, and supplementation), and no one should be chastised because they do it a little differently from the norm. If it works and the reptile is healthy, who cares? Sometimes people get a little stuck in their ways and aren't open to other ideas.

    ~Maggot

  7. #7
    acpart is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    3,201
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Some people seem to be asking a question but really just want others to approve of what they're doing, so of course they get upset when that doesn't happen. On the other side of the coin, some people who give the feedback aren't the most diplomatic and can trigger the defenses of the questioner. The impersonal nature of the internet is a stumbling block, but can be overcome with careful wording and a delay in hitting the "send" button.

    Aliza
    Likes MdngtRain, Aellie, Elizabeth Freer liked this post

  8. #8
    Riverside Reptiles's Avatar
    Riverside Reptiles is offline Geckos Unlimited Admin
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    8,383
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Embrace Calamity View Post
    If it works and the reptile is healthy, who cares?

    Here is where things can get sticky though. Reptiles often do not show symptoms of being in distress in the same way that mammals do. And if one does not have an experienced or trained eye, one can often miss these signals.

    Also (and you'll note that I say this a lot on here), just because you CAN do something, doesn't make it the right or appropriate thing to do.

    Many times, especially when it comes to working with herps, the repercussions or negative affects of improper care cannot be seen until down the road when it is far to late to turn back. When someone with 15 or 20 years of experience says, "Hey, I've been down that road already and it doesn't end well", it's often of benefit to listen. People need to remember that experienced hobbiests aren't looking to spread poor information. They're generally simply trying to save others from making the same mistakes.
    Ethan
    ~Riverside Reptiles~
    Riverside Reptiles Online

    Riverside Reptiles on Facebook

    To ALL GU members, please take the time to look through old threads and/or use the search feature BEFORE asking questions. GU is a huge archive of information and most of the info that you're looking for is already there just waiting for you to find it.
    GU's search feature ----> Geckos Unlimited - Search Forums

    GU's Rules: http://www.geckosunlimited.com/commu...les-rules.html


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    982
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Riverside Reptiles View Post
    Here is where things can get sticky though. Reptiles often do not show symptoms of being in distress in the same way that mammals do. And if one does not have an experienced or trained eye, one can often miss these signals.
    That's why I said is healthy, not appears healthy. I've made that same point before - that things that are mildly detrimental are sometimes difficult to pick up on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Riverside Reptiles View Post
    When someone with 15 or 20 years of experience says, "Hey, I've been down that road already and it doesn't end well", it's often of benefit to listen. People need to remember that experienced hobbiests aren't looking to spread poor information. They're generally simply trying to save others from making the same mistakes.
    I wasn't talking about something that's been proven to be bad. I'm talking about something that isn't what is normally done but has no evidence to show that it's detrimental in any way. Those are two very different things.

    ~Maggot

  10. #10
    Aimless's Avatar
    Aimless is offline Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,387
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default


    LOG IN TO CLOSE THIS AD   


    that's an excellent point, Ethan. I think if you're going to experiment with unproven methods you need to have the experience to make smart choices.

    I also think anyone who ignores the advice of a veteran keeper who tells you that your choices will end badly, is just being a stubborn idiot.
    Morelia spilota harrisoni * Liasis fuscus * Liasis mackloti * Liasis mackloti savuensis * Anteresia maculosa * Python regius * Gekko gecko * Rhacodactylus leachianus * Correlophus ciliatus * Blaesodactylus boivini
    Likes MdngtRain, Riverside Reptiles liked this post

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •