Ranting...

[Leo844]

I’ve just been so annoyed and frustrated the past few days and I need a vent... first my boyfriend hates reptiles, and actually asked me if I would choose my reptiles over HIM! So yeah, we had a spat over that... still annoyed about that... then, I am trying to convince my mother who irrationally hates snakes to allow me to have a ball python. She told me that she had planned on getting one for me for my birthday, but she didn’t because my boyfriend hates snakes!!! But now she’s not sure if she “wants” to allow one, even though she was ok with it before! So I’m basically pissed at the both of them..... my mother doesn’t have any good reason to not allow a snake. She just doesn’t like them :-x
Sorry, just had to get that out...

 

[Telepizza]

Sorry to read that
Sadly when we live with our parents we have to go by their rules, but sometimes it's for the best.

Though, if you really can't wait; if she's not really against snakes, just doesn't like them, maybe sit her with you and teach her more about snakes and why you like them so much?
You can even show her the lots of pics of snakes with hats that you can find on the internet, so she sees they can be funny and adorable as well, or maybe get with a smaller snake so she gains confidence and accepts there's no problem with them (if you can afford to own them, of course).

Probably other people here can offer better advice, though. Good luck!

 

[Leo844]

I’ve done all kinds of stuff like that. She just hates them. She is still thinking about it... although I appreciate the help

 

[Herpin Man]

My mother hated snakes too. She didn't really like any of my herps. I kept them anyway, down in the basement. I'm glad that I did, and I'm glad that I have remained interested in, and involved in, herps all these years. Maybe you would have better luck with your mother if you got a herp that isn't a snake, and maybe work your way into a snake. Or, repress your herpetological desires until you are out on your own.
Regarding the boyfriend: I'm by no means a relationship expert. But I have known quite a few people whose spouse or SO was intolerant of herps. In every case, the relationship is doomed. When they ask you to choose between them and the herps, it is doomed anyway, even if you do give in.
What I'm saying is that there will be other opportunities for boyfriends who would tolerate, or even enjoy herps.

 

[No one important]

yeah that must suck, i have a girlfriend who loves reptiles and owns 4 and im not to good with them. the only reason im on this website is to get a better feel with them and to get a better understanding on reptiles.

 

[GeckoLeen]

Well, YOU are at least making an attempt! And that is great! No one says that a spouse or SO has to LOVE their partner's pets - or even share their interest - but they at least need to acknowledge and accept that that person has a passion for herps, and will allow that person to indulge (within reason) that passion! My husband doesn't "get" my interest in geckos, but he's fine with me having them, and will care for them when I am out of town. I think that says a lot.

Regarding moms - well, some people just have an innate aversion to snakes, and that may never change. Give her credit if she is willing to let you have one despite her aversion, and if not, you may just have to wait it out until either you move out on your own, or she changes her mind. IF she's only denying it because of the boyfriend, and the boyfriend is making you choose anyway, I'd say ditch the boyfriend. It's not going to last anyway. (See above paragraph.)

 

[No one important]

Why do you think it won’t work out?

 

[GeckoLeen]

It may work out for YOU, as you are making an effort, and are not giving an ultimatum.

I was directing that comment to the original poster (Leo844); people who truly love you do not give ultimatums (unless it is a total deal-breaker, like allergies or something like that) for the person they care about to give up a passion, and will find a way to work around it or compromise. If Leo844 is not that crazy about reptiles (or other pets) and can live without them without any resentment toward the boyfriend, then probably not a big deal. But if she has a passion for her pets, and the boyfriend says "them or me" - whether it's reptiles, or dogs, or horses or whatever - it will only breed resentment over time, and cause conflict and arguments that shouldn't happen in a loving relationship.

To "No one important" - I give you a lot of credit for joining a forum and doing other research to find out about your sweetie's interest and passion, even though you don't share that interest! I think that makes you "Somebody pretty important"!

 

[No one important]

What if her bf is trying to understand her interest like I am?

 

[GeckoLeen]

If he is, that's great!! If he's issuing ultimatums, that is not ok!

 

[Hilde]

What if her bf is trying to understand her interest like I am?

Unlike regular posters, I can see your deleted post, which makes me think this thread needs to be closed.
That's just going to make problems which don't need to be aired here.