Hello to all,
I had a problem in my trip and had to stay for 3 days instead of 2, and I should have stayed 4, but I drove 14 hours straight in the andes mountains just to get back as soon as possible (any sane person would have done in 2 days, but I wanted to get back home ASAP), but all the effort was worth nothing I got home on wednesday at 2:30am just to see him die, he died the moment I got home, I witnesed his last breath.
My heart is broken, I hadn't had the courage to enter GU to post this, after a 14 hour drive I couldn't sleep just thinking about him, when I finally did all I dreamed was that I could bring him back to life, I know it sounds incredibly cheesy but you have no idea how emotional I got, I hadn't cried like this in a long time, I feel guilty, I believe this maybe wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gone, I left on sunday night and came back on wednesday night... on sunday afternoon I left everything clean, plenty of water, good temps, him just fed, calcium dish, The worst part is that I can't explain what happened, because he honestly wasn't looking so bad! I mean, he was starting to be a little more active, his tail was thin but not skinny (I have seen a lot skinnier geckos), so I can't believe it was starvation, could it be possible it was dehydration?? I had just gave him water before I left and he was able to reach any of his 2 water dishes, but I never saw him drinking...
This year I rescued 4 geckos, 2 of them are happy, healthy animals that I brought back into life and are a part of my collection now, one died, but in that case I could see him getting worse by the day, in this case the worst is not knowing, not understanding, and of course feeling guilty because he wasn't doing so bad!!! I can't help believing that if I had been here maybe it wouldn't have happened, I asked my vet friend (the one who "referred" him to me) and he told me that he would have put him down from day one, but I just think he doesn't know much about geckos in general, I truly believed he had a chance.
The only person who got me to stop crying was my sister because she reminded me that I am 5 months pregnant and whatever I feel my baby feels too, so I have to put myself together, even my husband couldn't understand how was it possible that I could cry so much over a "lizard" that wasn't even mine, maybe pregnancy has made me more emotional than usual.
I really appreciate all of you caring about him, I felt I owed you an explanation, although just entering GU makes me sad right now, thanks for all the advice, and just for being there, no one in my family or friends group (even my gecko-friends) understands me right now, "it's no big deal" they say, "you can have another one".... anyways, I know I don't even have to explain how mad that kind of coment makes me, I know people here understand.
I'll probably won't be entering GU for a few days, I have tears in my eyes right now just to re-live the whole thing, but as I said before, I felt I owed you a closer, thanks to all of you that lived this with me, and sorry for being over dramatical.